of love . It is also an endeavor very few people are formally trained to undertake . Even a coach ’ s path of preparation is intensely personal . A journey filled with beloved mentors and colleagues who all invested in and feel connected to you and how you do as a coach . All of that is both beautiful and a recipe to make receiving feedback potentially tricky .
Coaches are often uncomfortable with welcoming a variety of opinions lest their system or vision for the team be too altered . This is not something to feel shame about , but it is something to know . Because coaching feels really personal , because it feels like so much a part of a coach ’ s personal identity , and because we feel like we may owe many things to so many others , feedback , diversity of thought , and different opinions can be — and often are — hard to hear . That is perfectly okay . What is not okay is to reject feedback for these reasons without knowing it .
2 . Feedback ≠ Consensus
“ But , Tree , I ’ m the leader of the team , and besides , I can ’ t possibly do what they all want me to do . We can ’ t make everyone happy .” This is an oversimplified version of the pushback to my call for gaining more feedback from more coaches than I can count .
many things too broad , complex and nuanced to successfully dive into here . However , compelling data from the
Pew Research Center certainly backs this idea . A striking data point from the 2019 study noted varying degrees of trust by groups based on various demographics . Nearly half ( 46 %) of the people who fall between the ages of 18-29 fall in the “ low trusters ” group . Nearly half ! Compare that with 19 % of those 65 years of age or older . And this study was done before a pandemic that most certainly did not see a rise in trust . Additionally , most coaches have found plenty of their own anecdotal examples of lowered trust among their teams .
For the purposes of this article , we need only to know that when trust is lowered , belonging feels more fragile . A fragile sense of belonging will almost certainly lead to a more guarded ( read : less honest ) level of feedback from subordinate to superior . The result is that unless you are extremely intentional and consistent , you are likely only hearing a very small portion of critical feedback from your athletes , if you ’ re hearing any at all . This is not to say you aren ’ t hearing complaints . I know that you are . But often you ’ re hearing those complaints only after many , many missed opportunities of hearing those complaints in the healthier form of feedback along the way .
Things that get in the way : 1 . Bless Our Sensitive Souls
Coaching an athletic team is a creative endeavor . It ’ s a very personal , time consuming , energy consuming labor
First , I am not suggesting that we are ever trying to make the people we lead happy . Create a great experience where your people feel cared for as they experience growth , and happiness may or may not follow , but never once will you hear me say that it ’ s a coach ’ s job to make their players happy .
You are also not trying to lead your team with a majority rules mindset . Don ’ t gather feedback from your athletes to create consensus . Gather feedback to gain more information so that you , as their leader , can make better decisions . And gather feedback so that when you make decisions , you ’ ll have the information to better communicate those decisions to your athletes .
Your goal for gathering feedback should not be to build consensus ; gather feedback to deepen connection .
3 . Masters of BS
The urge for all people to take this more comfortable route when it comes to telling truth to power has probably existed as long as there has been an understanding of hierarchy , yet that urge has never been as amplified as it is today . Because belonging is a real need for humans and because Gen Z is the loneliest generation of all time , there has never been more incentive for a student-athlete to tell a coach what they think that coach wants to hear .
Getting your players to share their real thoughts with you , thoughts you may disagree with , will require you to leave unbiased space for that to happen .
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